Teen Insights

From the YAB table dialogue:

When we talk about stress, anxiety and depression, what does that mean to you?

Do you think there are ways teens can cope? What do you suggest?

There’s good stress and bad stress. Good stress can be something like making sure study enough for a test. Bad stress would be something someone said to you on Instagram or in a text. It’s important to learn how to deal with the feelings and pressures that come with bad or negative stressors.

Stress to me is being pressured by the daily problems that come to me. Some ways to cope are to stop and take a deep breath, get some exercise and fresh air, and I always like to listen to my favorite music.

My grades are my main stressor. I think a lot of times when people are stressed, they avoid thinking about it and they try to distract themselves. Sometimes these things can be unhealthy…. which can make things worse.

Stress to me is disturbing. You are out of your of your comfort zone. I try to turn to a hobby or just relaxing to cope with everything when I am stressed.

I get stressed out when have a big test or a lot of homework to do. What I try to do is think about and plan ways to get it all done, and then leave time to do whatever I want.

Stress and anxiety are an inevitable part of life. But if we can learn to speak up and feel comfortable talking to someone or each other about it, then I feel we can get through it together through that mutual understanding and support.

School and peer pressure stress me the most. I think about the large shoes that I have to fill and that is going to be hard. Stress is also being in a bad space that distracts you and keeps you from doing your best. I try to take a deep breathe and take a break from what is stressing me out.

Stress is like a vibe that clamps your life in times of struggle. For me, so far, the stress eventually subsides, and life moves on.

Depression is when life isn’t going your way and you don’t have anyone to turn to and you lose hope in the future. I want to tell people “Don’t stress it. It’ll all get better.”

Holding stress in is not healthy. Everyone needs to find their own outlet. If you don’t it will just build up inside, you and the result could be dangerous when it finally comes out.

It’s understandable to have stress, anxiety and depression. You may have a good reason to feel unhappy. But you should talk to somebody or write down your feelings. Make some effort to deal with it and to get help. Please don’t keep that bottled up.

From the YAB table dialogue:

YAB Teens are talking about teen substance use…. why, what, and how we can do better for our teens.

Q. When it comes to substance use; drinking, weed, vapes… if teens know it’s wrong, illegal and their parents would disapprove, then why do you think they do it?

A. I think teens are using because there is a lot of pressure on them about school and their grades from their parents and peers.
A. I don’t think teens really get that it’s wrong.
A. Peer pressure. Stress and Anxiety. The need for popularity. To cope with their problems.
A. Teens don’t care, they just want to be cool, show off to their friends, rebel against their parents and try to de-stress.
A. I think teens do it despite knowing the consequences because of the “coolness” factor. I do think it depends on your friend group though.
A. There are a few reasons; to try to cover their problems or mask their emotions, or it could be they are trying to boost their social status.
A. Kids are interested in conforming to the social norms of their friend group. If someone’s friends are doing drugs, they are more likely to do so as well.

Q. Do you think teens understand or are aware of the affects, the harm, the consequences of using these substances?

VAPES:
A. Teens think vapes are a safe alternative to smoking.
A. Teens don’t understand that vapes contain nicotine or harmful chemicals. They think it’s just water.
A. Most teens believe vapes have no harmful effects, but it is really building a foundation for addiction.
MARIJANA:
A. I think teens think marijuana is safe because it is natural.
A. Teens know you can’t OD on marijuana and that makes then believe there is no harm.
A. Teens are very aware of marijuana, it’s very prevalent. Unfortunately, it is also a very addictive substance.
ALCOHOL:
A. I think teens think that because alcohol is a legal substance it is safe for them.
A. Many do know the risks, but just don’t care, because there is so much peer pressure.
A. Many teens see their parents and other adults drinking so they think it’s okay. And, it’s easier to get than other drugs.
A. I don’t think teens are aware of the long-term effects on their brains and body.

Q. What should schools and the community do to get a more direct and effective messages to teens?
A. Have people talk to us about their experiences with drinking and drugs.
A. Schools shouldn’t give students opportunities to use drugs. Students are unsupervised a lot, and teaches are uninformed.
A. We need better counseling at school. Check-up with your students more regularly – some kids just fall through the cracks.
A. Better security at school. More PSA’s and assemblies addressing alcohol and drug use and the consequences.

Q. What should Parents know OR do to better support their teens?
A. Parents should let their teens know that there will be consequences, but they will be there for them when they do make a bad choice.
A. Parents need to understand that teens are easily influenced by their friends, the media and society.
A. Be more open and less judgmental of your kids. Too many kids are not trusting of their parents with drug issues.
A. Pay more attention to your teen — know what they are doing, who they are with and what’s going on in their daily life.
A. Show us more examples of real-life tragedies/consequences from people who use substances.
A. Communicate more with your teen. Try to really understand what is going on in their lives.
A. Start talking to your kids about this when they are younger – middle school at least.

Q. What would you like to see addressed? Do you have any thoughts on messaging or reaching teens better on this issue?
A. I would like to see Parents be more informed about vaping. How to recognize the signs, what to look for, and then how to handle it.
A. The huge amount of stress and anxiety teens are trying to deal with today. And, the consequences of substance use.
A. I need everyone to understand that is it so hard to be a teenager today and I wish that they would all be more supportive.
A. Parents need to be better informed about what’s happening with teen substance use.
A. Helping teens find healthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety.

From the YAB table dialogue:

The generation gap has never been more evident than in today’ world. We’ve been talking about it.

The YAB want you, PARENTS to know what’s on their mind, what they’re concerned with, where they’re coming from, and that you can find a way to relate to your teen and talk to them. Here’s what they have to say about the teen experience…. Then vs Now, and much more.

THEN vs NOW:

Then, teens didn’t have cell phones or social media. And now, everyone has access to instantaneous information and social media and phones that can be addictive. Furthermore, there is pressure from social media like Instagram to make it look like you’re living the best life possible. So much attention and comparison on social media and texting has its negative effects on our mental health; bullying, body image, quality of life is less than others, FOMO (fear of missing out), etc.

THEN vs NOW:

There was more time, more down time and less stress. Today, it feels like everything is the most important thing ever – everyday. And then, teens’ resumes were not nearly as big as teens resumes today. This is because we are involved in so much more and we have more that causes us stress. Today, there is so much pressure in school to success and to be the best.

TODAY vs YESTERDAY:

The biggest differences are technology; instant messaging, 24-hour access to be entertained, meme culture, media culture. And, with so much screen/internet time, family interaction is decreased, pressure and stress are increased – meeting high expectations every day. Safety is a new and different feeling now compared to then. My parents had tornado and fire drills, today we have lock-down and drills/practices for school shootings. I think about and worry for my safety sometimes just walking into school.

THEN vs NOW:

People talk about drinking and getting high/vaping all over social media and texting. Kids will plan parties and you know by text if it’s going to be a party with substances. My Parents didn’t have social media and texting. My parents were able to walk/do whatever and wherever without as much fear or pressure.

What is concerning you most right now?

Adjusting to school. Making sure that I stay strong against peer pressure.

How this year, my Junior year is supposed to be the hardest year of my life.

What else do you want Parents to know? How can they support you & talk to you in a meaningful way?

I think it’s important for students and Parents to communicate in a meaningful way about all of these pressures, but I also want Parents to know that we/teens also need some alone time and that we don’t always want to talk right when they might want us to.

Communication doesn’t need to be forced. You don’t have to have all the answers, just listen to me, keep an open mind, try to be kind and help me when I’m so stressed or annoyed about school. Know that I am really trying my best.

What would you tell your younger-self or younger teens coming into high school today?

Work on your time management and organization skills – because there is a lot to juggle in high school.

School is going to be kind of crazy so make sure you’ve got a good group of friends to turn to. Also, it’s okay to say “No” to something…. It doesn’t make you lame.

Listen to your own voice and don’t do things just because others are doing it, or you feel pressure to.

From the YAB table dialogue:

What, how and when to talk to your kids at different ages and stages.

What do you think Parents should be talking to their kids about in elementary school?

Parents should start teaching their younger children the importance of making good choices, standing up for themselves and the power of the word “No”.

Teach them about discipline and basic right and wrong. Focus on being a good person: kindness, and empathy for others.

They should make sure their child understands that if anything comes up that doesn’t feel right or seems unsafe that they are a safe place to come to. Also, go deeper than just telling them something is bad. Kids are naturally curious so Parents could be creative with evidence like visuals/phots, videos, etc. – that might stick with them longer.

What about in 5th-6th grade?

Talk to your kids now about what they might want to get our life and achieve. I feel that most kids don’t have a plan in life and are simply existing, doing what they are told instead of living for themselves and setting their own goals and aspirations.

Parents should be teaching their kids at this age how to “THINK before they DO”. It’s so important for kids to learn how to distinguish right from wrong. I also think it would help if Parents encouraged their kids to stay true to themselves and not fall into doing the same things their friends might be doing.

They should start telling their kids just what is right and wrong. They should absolutely have conversations about drugs, sex, and the important–taboo issues. Kids need to know where their Parents stand to help formulate their own values.

Parents should definitely talk to kids at this stage about vaping and drugs. Kids in middle school I know are vaping. They record videos and post them to Snapchat and Instagram because they think it’s cool.

They should start talking about substances and the affects they can have. They should talk about peer pressure and it would help to tell them about their own experiences with these things.

Start talking about peer pressure and the dangers of vaping. It’s starting at younger ages so it’s a critical time. Most Parents really don’t know about vapes and how young and widespread it really is.

What is the dynamic of reaching teens that Parents should know?

Parents need to know that their kids really do want to be able to talk to them freely about these kinds of things (pressure, drinking, drugs, etc.). Sometimes though, kids are scared because they don’t think their Parents will be open-minded and understanding. I do feel with the right time and approach, Parents need to address these things regularly to be effective.

It can be as simple as having a dialogue at the dinner table and conversations about each and everyone’s days, leading into those more serious and important conversations. I have found it’s effective when it comes up casually as my Parents slip it into a conversation, and they usually create a bad connotation related to alcohol and drugs.

Be approachable, comforting and understanding. Parents should know that if they talk to their kids in an intimidating way, “If you do this then…” it only makes them more rebellious and they won’t wan to talk to you about anything.

Parents need to learn and understand their teens moods because when those moods are happening, it’s likely that their teen just won’t listen and will shut down.

Parents should try to let the conversation happen naturally – it’s better if it comes up in a conversation and is not forced.

Teens are rebellious by nature. Most teens don’t want to be told or forced to do OR NOT do something.

Don’t probe a lot – it will just annoy teens and cause them to close themselves off. Try to make it a conversation, not an interrogation.

How would YOU prefer to have your Parents talk to you?

I would prefer to have Parents talk to me about this topic confidently and maturely. It’s not something they should avoid. And the more Parents bring up topics like this, and handle it well, the more comfortable kids will feel talking to their Parents.

I would prefer that my Parents just talk to me – about whatever. Just talk to me in a gentle way, but be firm so I understand their are consequences to my actions.

In a comfortable way. Right now if I were to tell my Mom all the things happening, there’s a 50% chance she will tell people about it and it just gets annoying to have to deal with that. So, it would be best if I knew I could securely and comfortably talk to my Parents.

Don’t talk at me or lecture me… because teens have a short attention span – and after a point they stop listening.

I appreciate when my Parents talk to me – especially when they use something that is relatable to my or talk about a situation that could actually happen to me.

When is a good time to talk to you Or NOT a good time to talk to you?

Whenever I am working, studying, it really disturbs me if I am interrupted. Just ask me when I will be finished or when a good time for me to talk would be.

A good time to talk is when we are both in good moods. When my Parents have tried to talk to me at the wrong time it frustrated me even more and things got worse.

There is never going to be a “perfect” time to talk with your kids about a tough topic like alcohol and drugs. But, once you get the conversation started and going, it will only get easier.

The best time to talk to me is on the weekends or when I’m taking a break from working, studying or activities.

When I’m not too stressed or busy is a good time. When I’m busy with school, homework, studying, work or activities, my mind is in so many places and it’s hard for me to listen and talk to them.

Do you talk to your Parents often? Do you feel comfortable talking to them about things you are stressed about or worried about?

I talk to my Parents everyday and I feel comfortable with most everything and listening to their ideas.

I talk to my Parents everyday, mostly about school and how my day to day life is going.

I talk to my Mom often because she understands better than my Dad. Sometimes I don’t feel comfortable telling my Mom everything though. I do talk to her about most of what’s going on.

I talk to my Parents a lot about things I am worried about – especially with school issues. We also talk a lot about how vaping and drinking can negatively affect me.

Yes, I talk to my Parents and NO – I don’t feel comfortable talking about things I am stressed about because they stress me out more. They tell me all the things I should be doing or still have to do – instead of listening and understanding all that I am going through.

I talk to my Parents regularly about my life and stresses. I feel very comfortable talking about it with them, because we’ve talked often since I was young.

From the YAB table dialogue:

It’s been a busy school year and as we head into the winter and Holiday busy-ness, and hopefully, take a break, you can tap into the teen brain right here and right now. Find out what teens are thinking and how you can help them navigate through their challenging times.

When I’m at school I feel?

Usually I’m not entertained for the most part, but some little things are fun and worthwhile.

Happy to see my friends. Tired.
At school I feel pressured, but confident.
Mostly bored because I’m fed up with high school. Can’t wait to fly the coop.

I feel tired and stressed. I’m trying to maintain my already super high GPA.
Generally happy, but sometimes I feel stressed and overwhelmed. I am usually happy though because I get to spend time my friends who make me laugh and feel good.

I feel anxious but tired at the same time. I always try to finish my homework in school, so I have time for other things after school.

I feel busy and stressed – I’m trying to make sure I got to and understand everything I did in a day.

When I’m at home I feel?

I tend to get less done than I would at school, but I enjoy it, nonetheless.
Still pretty stressed.

At home I feel relaxed and productive.
Just vibin’ I suppose. Just doing my own thing or chilling with my family.

I also feel stressed as I’m always studying more than I need to for tests – over-studying in order to maintain my GPA. On the weekends though, I feel drained.

I feel relaxed and happy because I have a supportive family who I love spending time with and who I can always go to.

At home I feel stressed about school.
Stressed with schoolwork, but then I’m relaxed when I have time to myself and can do anything I want.

I feel calms because I can relax and take my mind off of school and drama.

I feel mostly relaxed, but I always have a little bit of anxiety in the back of my head.

When I’m with my friends I feel?

It’s fun because we’re actually doing interesting things.

Like I’m able to forget about the stress and relax.

When I’m with my friends I feel at ease.
Chillin’. Me and the boys always have a good time.

I feel happy, but also feel a little bit alone.
Really happy and thankful to have such great friends who care about me and distract me from stress.

I have the most fun when I’m with my friends because they’re fun to be around and when I’m with them I don’t have to worry about school.

Happy because I always have fun with them, and I am not busy working on something or trying to finish something.

I feel like I can relax and chill, but I always have a little bit of stress that won’t go away.

Why do you think teens start to vape?

I’m pretty sure that the majority began because they thought it was cool. But maybe some people are struggling, and they don’t know how to cope with their stress.

They’re bored and may think it will be fun, think it’s cool, and get pressured into it.
Teens start to vape because of stress and peer pressure.

Because they were told how “epic” it is and they want to fit in with the other “epic” kids.

Because they want to be cool in any way they can.

Because of the peer pressure OR because they think it’s “cool”.

To distract them from the stress and pressure OR because they might think it is “cool” because their friends are doing it.

I think teens start to vape because they want to get away from their stress, life and responsibilities.

What do you think Schools and Parents should do about Vapes?

They should start being more aggressive and pressing – especially when there is an issue with a student.

Inform students at a young age of all of the risks of vaping and offer help to those that are already vaping rather than just punishment.

Schools and parents should listen to students concerns and engage in meaningful conversations with students.

Keep sharing stories and encouraging their kids to stay strong and participate in things that make them happy.

Because they see others doing it and believe it’s “cool”, so they try it. When they’ve tried it, they are satisfied so they continue to do it.

Keep trying their hardest to get kids to stop.

Schools and Parents should be strict not vaping because it’s killing so many people. But at the same time, kids probably aren’t going to stop… so I don’t know if anyone can stop this.

I think Schools should have more program to quit vaping and Parents should be much more aware and talk with their kids about it.

Keep encouraging them not to start or to stop. But the best prevention would come from students encouraging the no-vape message.

How do you cope with stress and pressure?

I usually just sit and listen or play music on the guitar.

Listen to music, play sports and talk to my siblings and friends.

I try to plan, prioritize and manage my time.

I think of something I am looking forward to and I spend time with my family and friends.

I go on drives, run, exercise/workout, and hangout with my friends.

I take a step back; take a deep breath and I tell myself that I have no reason to be stressed and that I need to calm down and relax.

By taking a break from homework and everything and just watch a show or talk to a friend.

What should they teach in school but don’t?

A self-defense class because it’s a good skill to have and it is fun to learn.

How to do taxes, trade stocks and really just how to manage your money by yourself.

Finance, mortgage, how to stay organized.
Life skills or long-term useful information. Schools need to be more ambitious in terms of our procession to adult life.

They should teach real computer classes where students can learn practical skills and more about computers rather than typing, essays and projects.

How to live on your own.

Drivers ed.

Life skills for the future. Introduction to different job fields.

How to do taxes. How to cook.

How to do your taxes. How to do laundry and more life skills.

Life skills.

Stress and emotional classes.

Practical life skills.

How to take care of your mental health
Something I’m worried about right now is… and 1 thing I can do that might help me with it.

School in general.

Relax, don’t be anxious, things happen as they happen.

A-push.

Staying organized, not procrastinating.

The fact that I already need to check my grades constantly is very stressing.

Music – playing and listening calms me down.

That people still vape and use alcohol.
School and grades.

Have good time management and stress relief.

Take time to relax and hang out with friends and family to just be happy.
SAT/tests and what I want to do in life.
School and grades.

Relaxing and not thinking so hard about it.
AP tests.
Planning out a study schedule.
I am worried about my grades right now and one thing that could help is studying and meditation.

Dear younger me…

Don’t get into small fights with your friends and family… it’s a waste of time.
Keep up the great work!
The dreams you have will someday come true.
Live in the present and don’t worry about the past or future.
Don’t spend a lot of time worrying about everyone else and their feelings – focus on your own happiness.
Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
Live in the moment and have fun.
Live life to the fullest.
Relax and don’t be stressed. Enjoy life.
Stay organized and take life one day at a time.
Stop trying to fit into the “popular” crowd.

From the YAB table dialogue:

It’s a new year and YAB teens are talking resolutions, non-resolutions, goals and their wishes for teens.

What are your New Year’s Resolutions or NON-Resolutions?

To work hard in school and to be respectful.

To NOT get as frustrated as I do sometimes about things I can’t control -to let them go and understand they are not worth thinking too much and stressing about.

To be more organized and to have better study habits. This in order to have an easier time at school and on tests. I think this will help me later on in life too and will ultimately give me more free time.

My NON-resolution is to do everything when it is meant to be done instead of waiting last second. Not even just for school but for life in general.

To be more disciplined and develop my character. To stop procrastinating and to be a better version of myself.

To be BOLD and take advantage of all the opportunities put in front of me. I’m done hesitating to take advantage of good opportunities and missing out in the end.

To stop procrastinating. I also want to reach out to people I don’t normally talk to. I want to be a better person than I was last year.

My resolutions are to go to bed earlier, to be a kinder person, to read more and to stay very active. I will NOT fall behind in school work and I WILL BE stress-free!

What are your Goals?

To be respectful at all times and to do the best I can at all things.

I’d like to get through the year with ZERO stress and do well. I would also like to help the YAB grow and expand so more people can understand the importance of positive influences.

To get good grades ALL school year and to improve a lot in my sport – which is really important to me. I’d also like to see the YAB grow and get our point across to as many people as possible and gain a lot more members.

To get into the college of my dreams and succeed wildly. For the YAB, I’d like to expand our presence and membership.

To be more confident in everything I do and know how to get through frustration. For the YAB, I hope we can promote everything a Juul can do to your body and if people get addicted, find ways to get them help.

To stop procrastinating so I can start doing my best work always. I also want to start being more thankful for what I have been given in life and to stop wising for something better or newer. For the YAB I hope that we can establish better solutions for the vaping issues in schools and come up with ways to inform younger kids on the dangers of vaping.

I want to be less judgmental of people and I want to be more productive and get more things done. For the YAB, I want to be able to connect with more people and gain closer relationships. I hope also that we can reach out to more teens and get them to make the right choices instead of giving into peer pressure.

What are your wishes for teens?

To understand that vaping is bad for you and drinking, using marijuana is just as bad.

I wish for all teens to have NON-stressful year and to understand that there are consequences to their actions and choices.

To become educated and realize the affects of the choices they are making to use substances.

I wish teens to grow and to test themselves as individuals.

I wish that all teens make smart choices and know the consequences when they are not being wise.

I wish teens can learn how to better distinguish right from wrong and stand firm in their morals. I hope that someday it will be easier for teens to NOT give in to peer pressure.

I wish all teens realize that they can get through high school without drinking or doing drugs. I hope that they know that they don’t have to give into peer pressure to have a fun and great high school experience.

From the YAB table dialogue:

In the midst of the Coronavirus Crisis, being quarantined, and following the necessary protocols to be safe and healthy, the BBCC & YAB teens have been finding ways to connect and keep our positive message and energy going.

Like many of you, we too are using technology to meet and continue our important dialogue. YAB ZOOM meetings are happening and they are filled with smiling YAB faces, eagerness to connect and share and positivity. Something we could all use and share more of! We want to share a bit of that with you in hopes that you will be inspired and uplifted, as we are, by the amazing strength and support from some amazing teens on the Youth Action Board.

What new & positive things have you been doing, learned or experienced?

I’m running more, and I’m learning the guitar.
Through my on-line classes, I really feel closer to people in my grade and class.
I’m getting more sleep and I feel less stressed.
I’ve been journaling, something I’ve never done before, and I’m running.
I’m walking my dog… a lot!
I started painting and I’m trying to keep up with my AP classes and requirements.
I’ve gotten closer with my Parents
I’ve been reading outside and walking and bike riding more than I used to.
I learned how long-board and practice every day that I can.
I’ve been drawing.
I’ve been reading more and I’m training for a half marathon.
I’ve been riding my bike.
I’ve been watching more movies with my family.
What has been the most challenging thing about the pandemic? And what are you doing to overcome it?

I’m really bored.
Just try to get out every day and do something active.
I’m going to try to limit my screen time…. Seems like everything I do involves looking at a screen lately.
I’m worried about school and keeping up with where I would be if I was in school.
I’m going to be more focused on school.
I won’t procrastinate as much and try to be better about getting things done in the time I have.
I miss seeing my friends every day.
We’re staying connected through facetime and chat.
We’re doing birthday drive-bys with my friends.
Not being able to play my sport and practice with my teammates.
I’m getting out everyday and practicing with my brother or by myself.
My schedule has been destroyed – turned upside down. I stay up too late and sleep in too late.
I’m going to set a goal to try to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier.
The feeling that life will ever be the same again as I knew it.
Staying focused on positivity and spreading that as best as I can.

** Overwhelmingly these were all popular responses from many of our YAB teens.

What goals do you have to get you through?

To be more focused on my schoolwork and the new on-line learning platforms.
To be more focused on studying.
To go to sleep earlier and NOT sleep in too late.
To get out and exercise .

What is an inspiring quote or thought that is helping you get through?

No time is as scarce as too much time.
You have the POWER over your ATTITUDE & CIRCUMSTANCE.
You can’t quarantine FRIENDSHIP
STAY STRONG.
Sun shows us true power as it rises every day. And then the stars shine through the darkness of night.
Live life to the FULLEST.
Prediction is very hard, particularly when it is about the future (Yogi Berra).
Even the darkest places have room for light.
Only YOU can change the way YOU see things.
A misty morning does not signify a cloudy day.
I think teens start to vape because they want to get away from their stress, life and responsibilities.
We’re all on this Coronacation together.
Keep your head up… there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Look at all of this time you have to actually do what you… anything you want, that you really never had before.
I’m looking forward to being with everyone that I can’t be with now when this is over.
Through every falling apart there is a coming together.